Long Term Relationships = Complacency

Who can help it?

The natural progression of things. Ebb and Flo. Eventually you’re showering and peeing together (ewk!) the love is “bunny nosey posie.” Coos and spooning. Fall asleep holding each other without any realistic idea that it’s definitely going to get hot like two obnoxious kissie-poo bears cuddling in the middle of a microfiber double down comforter might get. Oh M, f’in’ gee.

You’re comfortable. There’s the point in the part of the relationship that begins a slow pitocin drip of complacency. The quick-death of a relationship. This is where everything you’ve worked so hard for goes straight down the chute. He conveniently forgets to call as often or keep to the same level of esteem as he once had about the relationship. She conveniently forgets to dress up, cook dinner, or put out. It just isn’t the same. So what in the interest of preparation and prevention can one do to avoid this? Since we’re all just dyyyyyyyyying to fall in love and get trapped in that one-way street?

Allow me please, to share what this work-in-progress 2.5 year psych drop out + two faulty engagements + single-parent home raised (after 15 yrs old) + the fall of one of my very best friend and mentor’s marriage has taught me thus far… and I do mean”work-in-progress”

Trying is EVERYTHING. The try matters more than ANYTHING.

Here are 5 ways to prevent that from happening.

  1. Get to KNOW a person AFTER you know them well enough already. Ask her her second favorite color. Ask him where his favorite place to go as a kid was. Ask if there were anything else professionally your partner could be in the world, what it would be? What about where you two could go? Find out if your alter egos are compatible. Find out if there’s something that you don’t know how to do and she does, if she’ll show you. Everyone loves to feel needed. Ask him what he thinks about himself. Pry, flirt, and make everything you do unexpected.
  2. Plan something. A trip. An event. Projects. Block out the world together and learn how to share like you’re five years old again.
  3. Don’t forget your “self-love,” any person will appreciate if you can balance doing what’s best for you and still make them a high priority.
  4. Yes, it is true you’re only as good as your worst day, but if your worst day is every day… or if you are one of those women who have rollers and pajamas on every time this man comes over… then don’t be surprised when he is out with “the boys for a drink or two,” and know, there’s always other women involved in that “night out.” You just want to make sure you have a place your guy craves to come home to. Keyword craves. Same for you guys. Spruce up a bit. I mean, no one has to look like ~summerfireflies~ in the morning or every single time you see them; but there’s nothing less intriguing than a man wearing his favorite hole-y sweatshirt with the bleach stain—out on a date. {insert gawk face here}
  5.  And seriously, if you remember nothing, at least “please be interesting.”

P.s if you don’t, y’all will be bored and complacent and your ass will end up like this:

How do I know so well you ask? Because I am that picture! Lol.

 

O, and by the way: Marie Clayton knows I love her work! Find her and the above photos at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/marielclayton/
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Comments

  1. Sounds like so knowledge everyone should hold on to….

  2. That Barbie vignette is hilarious! And that’s some really good advice you’ve shared. I’ll start following your blog from today! xo Jennifer

    • Jennifer,

      Thank you so much for that!!! Thank you also for following, revamping the site so stay tuned for some good stuff in future. Huge hugs!

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