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Raining Eyelashes

i miss you tied in a knot on any finger

taking pictures, painting somersaults

writing like there’s a kite string at the end of your pen

magic that gives my heart sequins

and because i know you’re gone

i can do 1 of 2 things

dangle for a while

or look for your theatrics

in everything that i do:

i hello to the birds

i discuss my future with my laptop.

i want to swallow your air a bit more

back pedal around your imagination

skip toward senseless endlessness.

one day it rained your eyelashes

you tickled in my pocket

there was something exploding in the inside

but it was just the opposite

i counted on things with you

like constellations in a lollipop

a sunflower in a cup.

but i wake up and i still can’t reach

and as you back away you wink.



“Raining Eyelashes” is dedicated to douglas.





I am watching you like the minutes before dawn

When my world tips over into a flux

When my language is a painting you know by heart when I have nothing left but angry

I am wearing something lacey and you are holding an eraser for my caving in

And you wash rice. And I don’t. And you play nice and I won’t.

And you are coughing this cross-word puzzle jigsaw backwards into the rind of my heart so even when I run you can’t get out of me. This is hard.

I am remembering the mornings you hold me when you’re mad about me

and what that means:

I am rethinking the walls in here            yellow             bittersweet melon tumbleweeds,

and three peanut butter n jellies a day.

I am picturing you; a helpless question in rhetoric. An obvious imperative. You are my magic. Deep inside my little case words, moments into the staircase I hide behind.

I have loved you before you knew I didn’t know– and before that I lied.

I pick pocket your rocket ship and I love the ride. I kiss chase the days we have saved up the ones most people don’t get in their lifetimes,

And I use them for you, just later on. Butter them up in an ocean blue time machine in a helium filled heart that blows bubbles when asked.

I wish                         that when I was afraid

that we had a sailboat and that I could sing it from lake to air             and

when I left you notes on your pillow you would know that I put them there to say,

Thank you, for loving me although,

Thank you for loving me although.

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