I will hurt you. I’ll leave when it suits me. I’ll take what I can. I’m selfish in that way. I will fight any urge to ever have any feelings for you at all. You’ll be just another face.

I will not let you in and you’ll always have to guess what’s on my mind. I will not tell you how I feel, when or if you piss me off, and I’ll speak freely about anything I want. And I wont care about your feelings. I will string you along every chance I get and I’ll only love you out of loneliness.

I don’t want to hear about your day, good or bad. Or what you’d like to do for the weekend. I will not go to your office party with you and I will bitch about your bad hair cut until it grows back out. And most likely continue on bitching a good time after that.

I will not be your future. Don’t include me in your dreams. And when I have a self-destruction flare-up, I will take you down with me. I do not drown alone.

I will not boost your ego. I am only with you because there is no one else around right now and you have become routine. I answer your phone calls when I want, on my terms. And I’ll only call when I want something and you’d better have it waiting for me.

Don’t ask me to do anything, because I wont do it, even if I say I will. And good luck with even getting that much out of me.

I’m always right, and I will always win. So don’t bother with attempting to develop an argument. I will shoot it down, every time. I will speak of my exes daily and hold a candle to them. I will compare you to everything and everyone and tell you how you’ll never add up to any of it. Everything you do, say, wear, and go, I will judge.

I throw my own pity parties. Every one’s always invited, because with me, misery sure as hell loves company. And you’d damn well better bring the chips and dip. Be prepared to hear all about my problems and issues. It is always about me.

And lastly, I will never love you. My heart is stone and you or the next poor bastard will never change that.

I am not for the faint of heart. Or any one that has heart at all.

—The Best E Harmony Ad, click through to reach my contact information.



  1. nicholas alexander says:

    that sounds like me and my ex. im going to use this in my acting. thank you for your post. i hope you are not like that. nice meeting you

    Nicholas Alexander

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: